Talk:Padrino Part 18/@comment-4080028-20131028075918
Somewhat unorthodox for me to start commenting on a much later chapter of a story I've been keeping a careful eye on, as opposed to an earlier one; say, Chapter 1, but I'm feeling a bit weary and took the easy way out tonight. As usual, I believe the Jollys are being played out fine enough. I feel there are some odd quirks and inconsistencies between your style and mine, but I always feel that way whenever I read about my own characters in this collab of ours, so it's not much to fret over. I was especially glad to see Wyatt get some attention, as I feel he gets overshadowed often. Also, near the end of the scene, that was quite the, er... uncommon euphemism there. Of course, Wyatt's the talkative, opinionated type, so I suppose it's no surprise he'd say something weird. Not really how I'd do it, but hey, I'm not the one working his butt off here. Though the way he creates bullets wasn't exactly how I imagined it. Blame the inconsistency on the fact that I wasn't very descriptive with the Yaku Yaku no Mi back when I added the page, and have been too lazy to flesh it out. <_< The way I've always seen it, Wyatt would have to be in physical contact with an object before he transforms it into ammunition. Say, for example, he activates his Yaku Yaku no Mi, and then places his hand in a fire, only for a glowing white light emanating from the same hand to morph the flame into a solid, usable bullet for his gun. Though the idea of him instantly creating any bullet made of any material whenever he pleases sounds promising and interesting. It'll be hard for me to go against two years of constantly thinking of the former creation of bullets, but I feel I should at least try to consider going with this latter idea. Hanuman seemed fine and good, and so did Glory. I was excited to see Chris make a heroic cavalry charge towards Rise and Rinji, and the way he used his Clay Clay Armory was more epic than anything I've ever done before. Kudos, Rinji! Chris seemed kind of, well, overly playful and relaxed at the time in my opinion, like he wasn't taking the fight seriously. Not exactly sure if that's something Chris would do, seeing as he would be aware that his allies and friends need him to fight at his fullest to ensure everyone wins this fight against the Marines. But, if it's all part of a plan to surprise Rise, then why not? Not like I hadn't considered doing that with Chris and an opponent before. Though those lines about walking on the beach and bringing snacks... For the first time since creating the character, I can't really tell if that would be in character, due to Chris being... well, playful and child-like, or if that would be out of character due to Chris not really taking the situation as seriously as he should. It's all really confusing for me right now, so I'll just wait until I can discuss this with you and come to a reasonable conclusion. All in all though, Chris was still Chris, and I appreciated that. Thank you. And of course, Sakura was nailed down perfectly, as usual. I could even pick up on her subtle body language, such as that concentration in her eyes. Though once I began reading this scene after we left the chat, it just dawned on me that the Juutoryu technique was supposed to be introduced in the Lys Arc, which comes after this collab. So again, this is a huge, huge, HUGE mistake on my behalf, and I apologize for not saying so sooner. >_< In my defense, I had a slight headache at the time, and was beginning to feel a bit tired (both of which have gotten worse now.) Um... Guess we'll work this out later? As for the chapter itself, you're skill, dedication and talent shine yet again, my friend. Wonderful chapter. Very exciting, with just enough One Piece style humor to keep it feeling like a true One Piece fan story. Not too shabby for a guy who wasn't feeling 100% at the time.